This is to much!

As of 4:30pm this afternoon the soil that they use for the septic system is NOT APPROVED!!

This is way to much for me. I've been pushed over the edge with this problem. I just want to leave here and come back when it's all figured out and my basement and Melanie's room fixed. I want to come back to lush green yard. But this is only a dream. I wished all my life that things would be easy for me. But as I go through life it just keeps getting harder and harder. Yes I'm feeling sorry for myself I deserve it and it's owed to me!! I have struggled through life with this feeling of dread that just hangs over me like a dark cloud! ( If you have ever watch the flintstones there a character that's name Bad Luck Schleprock. I'm the female version with all my hair falling out!) No wonder at the age of 32 I broke now at 41 I feel I should be enjoying my life! A person can only take so much. I know it's not the worse thing that's has happened to me.! But right now I'm tired of doing things alone!

But in the last I'd say 4 years my life has started to roll into more and more drama. I've had dreams for years about talking then screaming and no one hears me. Where a place that I'm at in my dreams everyone just walks over me or around me like I'm not there. Or I try to get their attention they don't see me. This is what happened with this construction thing. No one heard me or when I asked why? They didn't listen to me the first time they lift their hand to shut me up. I may not know much about this stuff but I was told by many people about the soil and where the septic should go. And I was told both time I was wrong!! Well as we see today by what this woman said I was right once again! But now I have to wait even longer and I will have more of a mess in my yard! I really don't want this stuff to go on. If I had the money I would tear down what I have and start off new! Anyways a BIG CHEERS TO THE ASSHOLES! As I lift and throw my heavy glass of muddy soil at all of their heads!

Anywho as time goes on I realize that your dreams are better when your asleep at least when you wake up from them you don't see a huge mess or drama. Your just scared out of your wits and sweaty!!
Cherlee