Regret I have a few

Yesterday my ex called to talk to my daughter to see how she's been doing. As always had to tell him his daughter was out with friends. She's going back to school today. So for the last week she's been hanging out with old friends cause she was laid off of work so she can go back to school. So she was making up for some lost time. She deserves it.

So we ended up talking for a about 30 mins which is rare for us. Most of the time I make it quick because if his girlfriend is around he becomes this royal ass. Today she wasn't home so he was the guy I use to know. We started talking about old times ect. It was kinda nice but he brought up something that I have been regretting since I married my now husband. My ex said his mother was really hurt that I didn't call her when I was in town or call just to say hi. This I really regret because we may have had our problem. But when the ex and I broke up his mom was still there for me. I could rely on her anytime I needed her. She was my second mom. My parents didn't live in the province I lived in. They had moved away before my daughter was born. So my ex's family was the only family I had there. I moved here with my now husband to be near my parents. The way I moved here I also regret because I did it in away I felt was right at the time. But it really hurt my ex and his family very much.


They were my family for along time. I'm really glad that his sister and I still keep in touch. Cause I've known her since she was 12. Now she's a mother of 2 beautiful children. I plan on making the time to call her and see how she's doing. His brother I've spoken to through the years he talks to me like I never lefted. His kids are grown up one with her a family of her own. His son a school teacher. I think where has the years all gone.


Once I married my now husband he asked me not to hang out with my ex's family cause he didn't feel comfortable with it. He felt threaten by them cause I had such a history with them. So I started to let them drift out of my life. I felt this was only right I had a new life with him. I hated to do this and it hurt but to keep the peace I let it happen. I know I'm am totally to blame for the distant I cause between us. I know I cause this hurt. But I don't know how to change it. I've wanted to call them through the years but didn't want to get into why I didn't call. Or upset my husband if he found out. Now I just wish that things could of been different. My life with hubby hasn't been great as anyone who's been keeping up with my blog would know. I feel in time in a very short time I may write her or call. To say hi but I hope she doesn't hang up on me. Not sure what will happen but I think I will take the chance to change what has happen. I truly don't regret moving here it was for my daughter's sake. She didn't need to live in her father's world it was to painful for her and I. But like I said before I regret the way it happened.

I just wish our lives could of been different and there wasn't so much hurt that went on through the years. But I feel that things will change for the good in the future if I take the first step. The first step for me was and is the hardest for me. I never felt confident enough to go forward. But in the last 2 years I've slowly changed that.

Anywho don't let years come between the people that you cared about go by. You may regret it. By letting others tell you who you should and should not be around it makes your despise and disrespect that person in time. I know cause I feel that way now. So smile and say FU@# You Buddy it my life back off!! That felt so good!!! lmao
Cherlee