Finally taking the plunge!

Well I've been putting this off for a long time. So here I go!

I see that others have been letting out their stressful times for months now. But I have keep everything locked inside for years. If you can see me you'd see all the hair I lost on my head! The stress of my life really shows on my face and the little hair I have left on my head. Plus my body lol! I'm told I'm in the prime of my life I just turned 41 in November. They also say that I'm woman with experience of the world! That I know where I'm going and where I've been. I know where I've been but with all the stressful bull in my life I forget almost all the important stuff like where I really should be at the moment! HUH!! Who came up with this bull a freaken Man! Not someone who has a clue!! Sorry guys just the way I feel today!!

But I must say many things in my life, that have come my way. Like the hurtful and strange.
I do look back with comfort of knowing I made it through on my own. I may have lost a lot of my hair but I have a greater wisdom of life then I had in my 20's. I don't feel like I'm in my forties. I lied I do sometimes, like when my daughter who's going to be 20 in July has her friends over and they want to sit around and talk. I find that most of the times they seem like aliens! They say and do things that really make me shake my head in wonder!

Or when I go out with Melanie for a drink. But the sad part is she doesn't have to have a drink to hoots and hollers or jumps around in a dance! People either just look at her an smile or join in. I remember when I could get away with that. But didn't do it that often! I try to picture if I was to do this at my age people would say "What the Hell Go Sit Down gramma!". But this is my own insecurities kicking in. I've never felt that I ever measured up. I look at my daughter in wonder sometimes and wonder were the hell did she get this fun side of her! I know her dad would hoot and holler when he would get drunk but yet when sober he's a quite guy. From what I remember when we were together anyway.

Myself I had to have at least 6 drinks in me to get me going. Sometimes more!!! I was so afraid of what others think it was crazy. But at 21 I had my girl and my friends all were still single having a great time partying. I was being a mommy of two. My daughter and her father lol. But I wouldn't of change a thing because I ending up with a daughter!!! And most of my friends from then have kids in elementary school. We joke about when there kids graduates they'll be starting to collecting old age checks!!!! I find it funny I seem to be the youngest of most of my friends and they call me for advice on there kids. Or I'll tell them stories of when Melanie was in grade school. They would say my kid wouldn't do that. The next thing I know they are calling me. I need help I don't know what to do so and so did what you told me Melanie did! What do I do? You know you shouldn't like to say I told you so. But to be truly honest I really do!!!! Sorry girls but this is the real me lol.


Well this is my first entry in my blog. If you are reading this you'll notice I'm all over the place but that just the way my mind works. People that know me and read this will understand my lingo. Sometimes you'll notice a missing word or two it's is because I have dyslexia. I found out when I was 24 but really understood at 28. So to the people that know me hey I'm at it again. And to the people that don't you get me after awhile I hope. Well getting tired of typing away. Until the next time don't drink and drive!! lol