Hi

Well my basement is dry but not totally back in order. Mel's carpet will stay cut she not to please but I'm not replacing it with another new carpet for the forth time yet. I have to go to the laundry mat it sucks but it could be worse. I've been really busy with Yuwie. I like it but I miss my blogger friends the most. I will make sure I write on here. On Yuwie I don't put this sorta stuff I'd rather keep it here. I talk about different stuff like making money ect.

I'm enjoying that grandson of mine. I knew that a grandchild makes your world brighter but I never realized how bright! When it gets to much I run and pick him up and look in his eyes and I just giggle. He has the blues of eyes and they are laughing most of the time. I hugs and kiss him and he loves it. I try not think of the day he starts walking because he going to see Nana coming and run away screaming because he know I'm going to give him hugs and kisses! lol

He's the love of my life. And I look at my beautiful daughter in a different light too. I see what a wonderful loving person she has become. She is a great mom sometimes it really surprises me. She has grown up so much in the last year it amazes me. I just wish she didn't hurt so much over missing her dad. I wish I could fix that one but I can't.

I hope that life gets better. I remember I use to be so positive about things. My favorite saying was things will work out they always do. Life has push that down.
But I'm starting to think that way again. I don't want to let friends, family and life get me down. I know it will but I wanna have a better outlook on life. I need to so my health will get better.

Went for my stomach and bowel scope. I have Diverticulitis's so I need to eat more fiber the pain can be really bad sometime but I go see him at his office for help on that. I finally found out it's not in my head it's is a real pain in the ass lol! But I was cleared on all other things at that end and I was happy. I had one also for my stomach and he found and infection of some kind and he took some biopsy of that and I will find out about that at the same time on my next visit.

It felt wonderful to find out it wasn't in my head all this pain. My doc kinda thought it was nothing but he was smart enough to send me to a specialize. And he found something.

I was awake for the whole thing. I was so nervous. Everyone told me I was going to be drugged and I wouldn't know what was happening and I didn't like that I hate that feeling of not having control of my body. I was having major anxiety attacks and the nurse was great I told her I don't take meds for my attacks anymore I try to do it without and she told me she was going to give me something to relax and I started to tell her that I didn't want to be stones and she just took a small needle out. My worse fear is choking and having a scope going down my throat was freaking me out.

But both scopes weren't that bad at all. For the stomach I had to gargle with this horrible stuff to freeze my throat. I started to go into a bad attack when my throat was frozen because I couldn't swallow! So I sorta stop breathing a bit she had to calm me on that one she was wonderful. I felt I was being a pain in the ass and she said that she was surprise I wasn't freaking more. Then I had to put this bite guard in my mouth and down went the scope I didn't feel it in my throat but felt it in my tummy. It only took a few minutes and done. Then it was the other end and that hurt near the end when he was up farther and then it was over. I was surprise because I look at everything and asked question! I was so proud of myself. The doctor was so nice and told me if he could have his patient more like me asking questions and awake it would make his job so much easier. When I went in recovery the nurses were surprise that I was awake through the whole thing. They told me everyone that comes out is under when they get us.

The doctor came and talk to me about everything in recovery and the nurses keep asking if I remember what he said. I had to keep telling them yes and repeated what the doctor said! My dad told me he was the same way. I'm thankful that I was awake because it was something I was always curious about but was to scare to look at.

Well I blah blah way to much again.

So anywho life can be a bowl of cherries but it can be the pits sometime!!

Sending love and Hugs your way
Cherlee