Loses

For the last year all I keep thinking about is the lose of my ex. How he was so young to leave this world. And on the 20th of May it will be a year. I have a hard time dealing with this at the best of times. Death is such a final thing. You can't go back and try to help or make it better for others or yourself.

May has been a month of loses. I lost my Uncle to suicide on the 7th of May 5 years ago. I think about him a lot this time of year. It breaks my heart to see my mother and my grandfather miss him so. I wish I could just bring him back to them like I wish I could bring my ex back to all the ones that truly love him. I know I can't but I wish I had the power to make it alright.

Yesterday my mom informed me about another uncle that is on life support and they are just waiting for my cousin to get back from a vacation she was on to pull the plug. They all live in another province and it was a shock for the whole family. I walked around with my head in a cloud yesterday. Shocked once again the tears flowed once more in the month of May for another lose of a love one. Then last night my mom calls at 10:45 pm and I knew it wasn't good news. A good friend of mine her mother just passed yesterday morning. This was a shock because we thought it would be her dad first. She's coming down tomorrow night from the states where she lives to be her with her family. Her sister and I were friends first and have losted touch but she was a wonderful friend and I will call her tomorrow.

Her mom was really neat. I thought she was great. My heart goes out to her so much. Last year when my friend was home for a visit she called to come visit and I had to tell her my ex died and was dealing with stuff and she said she'll make sure she will visit me the next time she's home. Well she was making a trip in June to see everyone. But she has to make the visit a month early. Not a happy time for her and her family. This month is so full of loses. And each year the loses are harder to deal with but I know I can help my friend by being there if she wants me to.

It helps to help other and to let them know that you understand the hurt and the ache they feel when they think of the love one they just losted.

I want to send many hugs to all of you. Please remember that life is way to short and each day that goes by I see that it gets shorter. Just grab the one you love and let them know you need and love them. It will put a smile on their face and a wonderful feeling in their heart. Give a little of yourself and it will be one of your greatest gifts

~hugs~